Liar liar...

"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."
-Stephen King 

Sometimes I wonder if anything is what it seems. 

I look at the world around me, and even though right now I'm going through and "up" stage, I see other people and they are going through much different scenarios. I listen to people say one thing then turn around and say something totally different to different people. It really makes me wonder if you can trust anyone these days. How sad is that!? I would love to look at all the people in my life and be able to say that I trust them fully, but in reality it is almost totally opposite!  I have had some of my closest friends totally run away with the trust I had given them. At this point, I think trust fewer people that are close to me than is even healthy! 

I have my sister, my best friend and my dad... and maybe my dog Ricco(lol). Other than that, who can I trust?? And further more, why should I trust them? What constitutes a good reason to trust someone? The are your good friend, we all know how deep that can really run... they have a lot of responsibility, they are usually the best fakers... You love them? My ex, who I trusted with pretty much my entire being, totally betrayed my trust over and over and over again, and I didn't see it for MONTHS! Someone who I thought was my friend threw my trust and feelings away without even a second thought...

I look at my life and I know that I am so extremely lucky fore the things that I have and the people I surround my self with. But I also can help but feel like there is still something missing. I want to be in love. I want to feel like I have someone there for me no matter what, in any situation. But I see the pain Ive gone through, and the pain I see my loved ones going through every day, and I wonder if being alone isn't a safer option. 

But Ive always promised myself I would never become one of those hard hearted people, who resents the things that have happened to them in the past and blames the people in her future. I will never stop believing in the good in the world, and the beauty of love. And i intend to keep that promise to myself fully and completely.

I just hope that one day there is one person who can prove to me that maybe someone, even just one other person in this world, is worth relying on...